I was promoted in February 2019 to Assistant Store Team Lead in Lodi, and again in November to Acting Store Team Lead—during Q2, the most critical and profitable quarter. I hadn’t even been promoted for a year when I was entrusted to run the district home store during its busiest time. It was something I couldn’t turn down. I’d been told: When you get an opportunity for promotion, say yes. So, I did.
But about a month before that—October 10, 2019—my wife of nearly a decade left. That was an extremely difficult time for me. I channeled my energy into work, developed my team, and took the role head-on. We thrived.
One of the biggest validations I ever got came in the form of an email from my District Team Lead, Natalie S.
That holiday season, we killed it. We had the store looking beautiful, well-stocked, full of smiles, and great energy. Everyone -seemingly- was firing on all cylinders. Some team members still, to this day, say it was their easiest holiday season ever.
By February 2020, I had transitioned back to my previous role, as the original team leads returned to their posts. I initially struggled to readjust. I was doing well, my team was thriving, and I had to take a backseat again.
I leaned into what I did best: being a dad and prepping for the upcoming baseball season.
March 2020: Special Olympics & Shutdown
On March 7, 2020, Trey, Ivey, my niece Dalesha, and I volunteered at the Special Olympics at Lodi High School. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I was proud to serve, and even prouder that my store—Lodi Big R—served meals to the athletes. We also got a meal for volunteering. I’d love to serve again at the 2028 Special Olympics in Los Angeles.
Right after the Special Olympics, we rushed to Sundown Little League practice. It was a little drizzly, but fun. Then, that Monday, things started to get worse nationally. By Friday, schools shut down for what was supposed to be a 2-week spring break—but turned into nearly 2 years.
Sundown season was canceled. Everything was.
We hosted the last sporting event in San Joaquin County before the pandemic shutdown: the Special Olympics.
Working During the Pandemic
Leading during the pandemic was one of the hardest challenges of my life. Every week, it seemed like the rules changed—colors of zones, case numbers, PPE requirements. Could we open the café? Were chairs allowed out? What defined a fever? Who’s allowed at work? What’s OK today that wasn’t OK last week?
It was chaos.
Staffing was short. Morale was low. People were scared. I felt like we were putting our lives on the line every day. And our store became a hangout spot for people needing social connection—that added more stress.
A Turning Point
Even before the pandemic, I realized: this life isn’t for me. I didn’t want to feel trapped in a job just because it paid well. I looked at my boss, at my peer group—and I didn’t see a future I wanted.
I missed my kids. I missed moments. I was spending too much of myself on work, and not enough on what really mattered. So, I started planning my exit.
Late 2020–2021: A Hard Year
Not having Little League that year was devastating. The kids struggled without structure. They were living across town with their mom, and I was mostly alone. It was dark—emotionally and physically.
Later, I transferred back to Manteca—my second stint there, the first being in 2018 as an Operations Team Lead. I initially struggled, trying to find my place again. I’ve always been “different,” and that’s OK.
But I enjoyed working with Aaron, Junior, Jenny and team. We had a great vibe and team chemistry. During many lunch breaks with Aaron, I confided in him about stepping down. I told him:
“If I were your son, would you tell me to stay in this job, knowing everything I just told you?”
He said, “I’d tell him to find a new path. You’re young enough to do so.”
Resigning
So, I did. I called my District Manager Donna M. and asked for a one-on-one. She was gracious and set it up immediately. I told her:
I love this team, but I can’t do this long term. I need to step down and be present for my kids. I knew I was doing good work, but I wasn’t happy. I said:
“I’ve sold my time for too long. Now, I’m buying it back.”
I didn’t care about the cost—I cared about my peace.
That was late summer 2021.
I was angry. Bitter. Frustrated. But it was my choice. I applied for that job. I stayed too long. I had to own both the entrance and the exit.
Coaching & Closure
Mental health became a top priority. I’d given too much of myself to work—and not enough to the people I loved.
The 2021 season was magical. Little League was back. Which meant that I finally got to coach my sons Trey and Ivey—their last season of Little League together. Ivey’s first year of majors. Trey’s final run. We had a tremendous season. We won our division and represented Sundown Little League in the Tournament of champions. We went on to TOCs, played hard. Fought with pride and had a great run finishing in 3rd place in the district.
Manager/Coach Kenny Gross and Coach Mike Valverde. Thank you, guys, for a great year. For holding up the games for me so I wouldn’t miss anything. I hope you guys enjoyed coaching our boys as much as I did. Gentleman It was a pleasure to serve with you.
To the parents. I’m grateful to you for allowing me to coach and mentor your kids. It meant the world to me and that Season was one of the Highlights of my life.
To the Kids. Thank you for your time, energy and effort. 2021 wasn’t just the return to normalcy. It was a chance for our all to come together as a community and I’m grateful to be a part of such a wonderful league.
I soaked it all in—the national anthem, warm-ups, my son’s playing catch together. I didn’t want to miss any more of those moments. This was once in a lifetime. This was living the dream.
I’m forever grateful to the coaches and umpires who delayed games so I could make it back from Lodi after being held up at work. I appreciated every one of them.
That season was our sendoff—and I’m glad I didn’t miss it.
Because you never get your time back.
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